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New here, so the details first: 167 centimetres, 56 kilos, and everything above the waist arriving a little before the rest of me.

What I actually do is massage. Nuru, body slide, skin over every inch of you until the week stops mattering. My English is fluent, so we can talk properly instead of nodding at each other, and there is more on offer than massage if you want it. The photographs are recent. All of them.