Faye Farris

O mne

Five foot three of femme fatale, at your service. Princess Diana in the street, Courtney Love behind the door.

I genuinely like meeting new people and hearing how they see the world, so small talk about the weather is off the table from the start. Conversation is what I do best — or second best, depending who you ask. That said, if you are the strong and silent type, do not panic! I am equally happy to keep the talking to a minimum and let my natural D cups carry the conversation instead.

Evening free? Let us get to know each other over dinner and drinks, followed by the most moreish dessert you have ever tasted. Diary in bits instead? Pencil me in for a couple of hours between meetings and I will send you back to the office with a thoroughly indecent look on your face. Want a longer escape from reality altogether? Then let us jet off somewhere wonderful and have the sort of debauched weekend you will be genuinely annoyed to see end.

If any of the above appeals, do reach out, and find out for yourself why the people who date blondes have more fun.

How to book: your opening message needs your name, when you would like to meet, how long you would like us to spend together, and whether you want incall or outcall. All four, please, in one go.

Kindly note that messages which just say "Hi", or anything else that weightless, will be ignored. Dragging the basics out of someone one line at a time creates far more unnecessary admin than the booking is worth.